Several years ago, I listened to a presenter at a youth leader’s conference discuss the transforming pair of words that profoundly altered his attitude and approach to teenagers. Generally speaking, many adults approach teenagers in the context of their complaints of raging hormones, poor attitudes, risky behaviors or noncompliance to authority. And, there is some truth to these elements in the life of most teenagers. As young people are seeking their independence from family while trying to make sense of their developing set of skills in abstract reasoning, they are experimenting and testing the boundaries of previously-held dogmatic and concrete understanding of how the world works. In challenging these parameters they are confronted with the task of trying to discover answers to the large questions of life: Who am I? Why am I here?
Unfortunately, many adults do not frequently consider their own passage through those tumultuous years. With this in mind, I propose the counsel that transformed my personal approach with young people. In the midst of all of the negativity often associated with teenagers, I would offer that they live out and experience the following characteristics:
- they display versatility and adaptation in their approach to life
- they are often brutally honest in expressing their goals and intentions
- they are often seekers and experimental with trying new things
- they are frequently daring when most adults would rather settle for low risk choices
- and, while they seek the desire to be noticed, recognized, and loved, they are simply looking for affirmation that they are OK.
I believe many adults sell themselves short in limiting their understanding of teenagers. Instead of looking at teenagers as if they are broken, misinformed, or immature, what if we choose to see them as the “work in progress” that the God’s Word describes for all of us? “For we are God’s workmanship (a masterpiece work of art), created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do (Ephesians 2:10).”
What if we altered our approach toward teenagers with with the two words that I did not mention earlier?
EXPECT BRILLIANCE
Perhaps, if we exercise that attitude as adults, might we not give the opportunity for teenagers to begin to believe that about themselves, as well? This is not an egotistical tool, but simply a reminder that they are a “work-in-progress.” They aren’t yet complete. They are on the way. They are becoming the “who” God has created them to be.
If we can begin believing that and communicating to them authentically and effectively with the love and grace that has been extended to us…. then, perhaps, young people, too, may better appreciate, and apply (albeit imperfect) their uniquely crafted calling as ambassadors of God’s love for His people through Jesus Christ.
Written by Bob Broekemeier – LMHP
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