Research shows that couples who pray together and adhere to Biblical standards in their marriage are far less likely to divorce than the rest of the population. The Bible tasks the man with providing Biblical leadership in the marriage. Men, following your salvation, your wife is the greatest gift you will receive from God. Some of the best instruction for marriage in the Bible is in Ephesians 5. Two thirds of the instruction in Ephesians 5 is for the husband; he is assigned more responsibility for the marriage than his wife as part of his leadership. Men are guided to provide servant leadership for their wives by loving them as Christ love the church, which is as a humble servant. He is to love his wife as he loves his own body, which means he must care for, protect, and nurture his wife with the same automatic, attentive devotion he gives to his own physical well-being. This passage treats the marriage union as a single, shared life where hurting or neglecting your spouse means hurting yourself. We naturally feed, protect, and comfort our own bodies when we are hungry, cold, or hurt. A husband is told to direct that same protective instinct toward his wife’s emotional, physical, and spiritual needs.

The instruction in Ephesians 5 also points back to Genesis, noting that the husband and wife are joined in the flesh as one entity. Just as a person does not fight or harm their own limbs, a husband should do no harm to his wife. Paul also uses the words nourish (to provide growth and sustenance) and cherish (to warm, comfort, and tenderly care for) showing that love is active, gentle, and supportive rather than harsh or demanding. Finally, this passage uses the model of Christ. A husband’s love is to mirror how Jesus treats the church, viewing his followers as His body and sacrificing Himself for their ultimate good.

Experience has taught me when a man follows these principles with his wife, the blessings he receives from her are immeasurable. At Spence Counseling we are dedicated to helping couples while using these principles, as well as the Biblical principles outlined for wives.

Kevin Piske, PhD, Clinical Psychologist


Spence Counseling Center provides Christ-centered counseling services that integrate Biblical truth with professional therapeutic practices. With a team of experienced counselors, we help individuals, couples, and families find healing, hope, and growth through faith-based guidance. Our mission is to walk alongside clients as they align their hearts and minds with God’s Word, fostering lasting emotional, spiritual, and relational health. Wherever you may be in life’s journey, we are committed to helping you find strength, knowledge, and the skills to break the patterns that damage relationships and cause emotional pain. We help hurting people find genuine healing.