Do you ever feel like there are two parts of you that do not agree? Part of you wants to get up in the morning to exercise and part of you would rather sleep longer. Or maybe part of you feels good about the relationship you are in, but part of you is scared to move forward. Part of you is tired of the same unhealthy cycle you feel stuck in, yet part of you feels comfortable with the familiar or thinks there is no way to ever get un-stuck.
Some parts of us help keep things in life in order. Some parts seem to carry pain. And other parts might be trying to protect us from being hurt, or even just trying to distract us. When we have experienced trauma, our parts can become more extreme and we may even feel we have little control over how we act, or what we feel, or what we believe. Life can feel out of balance, and we may wonder who we even are.
The Apostle Paul writes about a similar experience in Romans, Chapter 7. Verse 15 says, “I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do.” He goes on to talk about the war within to do what we know is right vs. giving in to sin. While our internal struggle with parts may not necessarily be tied to sin like Paul wrote about, we can relate to the struggle to understand why we do the things we do, and the challenge of being true to ourselves.
In therapy, we often seek to understand our identity and explore within to discover more about who we truly are. We refer to this as the Self, or our Core. Using the therapy approach called Internal Family Systems (IFS) developed by Richard Schwartz, we can discover more about our Core by understanding our parts and inviting them to experience healing. Through this healing we can more fully live out of our Core and therefore encompass qualities of Core, specifically Compassion, Curiosity, Calmness, Confidence, Creativity, Connectedness, Courage and Clarity. As the parts inside heal we notice a life more in congruence with who God created us to be.
Written by Megan Dreyer, MS, LIMHP, LMHC, CDGC, NCC
Spence Counseling Center provides Christ-centered counseling services that integrate Biblical truth with professional therapeutic practices. With a team of experienced counselors, we help individuals, couples, and families find healing, hope, and growth through faith-based guidance. Our mission is to walk alongside clients as they align their hearts and minds with God’s Word, fostering lasting emotional, spiritual, and relational health. Wherever you may be in life’s journey, we are committed to helping you find strength, knowledge, and the skills to break the patterns that damage relationships and cause emotional pain. We help hurting people find genuine healing.