My name is Amelia Den Hartog. I was born in Colombia, South America, and I am married to an Iowan man. I grew up in various towns in Boyacá and studied in Bogotá, Colombia’s capital, a bustling city of ten million people where Spanish is the main language and public transportation is the norm.
I come from a big family of six children, three girls and three boys. My parents were musicians, and so were many of my siblings. Our home was always lively, with friends and visitors dropping by almost every day.
My husband, Ronald Den Hartog, grew up on a farm in Iowa. His childhood was very different from mine. He had one sister, who sadly passed away as a little girl, and a brother with whom he helped care for the animals such as cows, chickens, and pigs and planted corn.
Although our upbringings were worlds apart, both of our families shared core values: strong Christian faith, a love for reading, studying, and teaching, and an emphasis on leadership and integrity. My father-in-law had a PhD in Genetics. My father served as mayor in the towns where we lived before moving to Bogotá. Both families valued hard work, faithfulness, honesty, love, and respect for God and others. Ronald and I both earned two master’s degrees.
So yes, there were many cultural differences, but underneath, we shared the same foundation of values.
When Ronald and I began our friendship, our mutual friends, who were also counselors, told me, “Amelia, get ready. You’re going to experience cultural shock.” That advice helped me prepare mentally and emotionally, but I didn’t truly understand what it meant until later.
After our wedding, I moved to the United States, and we stayed for a while with Ronald’s mother. One evening, I put a large pot of water on the stove. My mother-in-law walked in and asked, “What are you doing?”
“I’m boiling the drinking water for tomorrow,” I replied. “That’s what my mother does every day in Colombia.”
She looked surprised. “Oh, we don’t do that here. The water is already treated so you can drink it straight from the tap.”
That was a mental shock for me. I had to believe her, accept it, and train myself to drink the water without boiling it first. For weeks, every time I reached for a glass of water, I had to remind myself: It’s safe. You can trust it.
In my counseling practice, I’ve seen many people go through similar adjustments.
For example, a 16-year-old girl, let’s call her Juliana, came to my office one day angry, resentful, and frustrated with her parents. Her family had recently moved from Cuba, and she said she hated the United States. She desperately wanted to go back.
As we talked, I learned that one day, without warning, her father told her, “Pack some clothes in your backpack. We have tickets to the U.S. tomorrow.” She had no say in the decision. In an instant, she lost her grandparents, her boyfriend, her friends, her neighborhood, her favorite foods and music, everything familiar. She wasn’t ready to face the rocky path of adjusting to a new culture.
It took more than a year of therapy for Juliana to process her grief and begin letting go of the life she left behind. Slowly, she became willing to learn English, adapt to American culture, and even visit her family in Cuba. Now, years later, she loves living in the U.S.
Cultural shock is real. But with time, understanding, and support, it can be transformed into growth.
To be continued…
Written by Amelia Den Hartog, Omaha Location – MA, LIMHP, LPC, CDGC
Spence Counseling Center provides Christ-centered counseling services that integrate Biblical truth with professional therapeutic practices. With a team of experienced counselors, we help individuals, couples, and families find healing, hope, and growth through faith-based guidance. Our mission is to walk alongside clients as they align their hearts and minds with God’s Word, fostering lasting emotional, spiritual, and relational health. Wherever you may be in life’s journey, we are committed to helping you find strength, knowledge, and the skills to break the patterns that damage relationships and cause emotional pain. We help hurting people find genuine healing.